Dear E. Jean: My newly ex-boyfriend, whom we antiquated for 4 years, is “looking for his essence mate” on a renouned existence show. His episodes are in consistent reruns, so my phone rings with friends, coworkers, and family members who “just saw Jim!” (not his genuine name) and ask because we separate up. The loyal story is a nightmare: His “best friend,” who used to stay with us for months during a time, was indeed his masculine lover, his ex-girlfriend incited out to be a transvestite, and he cruised and picked adult men-for-hire when he was “working late.” we had to beg with his mom and hermit to give me a facts. I’m positively devastated. we tested disastrous for all STDs, though we still feel betrayed. He used me! Lied to me, my friends, and my family! After my colleague watched him alighting a date on a show, she pronounced to me, “Don’t be jealous. He’s usually doing it for a behaving experience.” This is horrible! What do we contend to people who keep calling? Please give me some ideas. we don’t wish to be stranded in this contemptible conditions forever! —Needing Courage
My Dear Miss Courage : Say with chirpy elegance, “Oh! You saw a show, darling? I’m so glad! Wasn’t he great? So handsome! So witty! So gay!” Whenever one breaks up, Miss Courage, one should always ready a press release. Nothing pleases friends and officemates some-more than a simple, pleasing encapsulation of your whole intrigue delivered in a seven-second sound bite. Example: “Jim and we were together 4 years and he has many pretentious qualities, though his nonstop man-shagging stirred me to flog his prevaricating, artificial jerk out a door.” Don’t tatter about reactions. It is prevalent for people to respond to a even many tangled and disorderly passing with a “I knew it all along.” Then, they possibly change a theme to their possess horrifying story or immediately try to repair we adult with their cousin, “a supercool guy, if we disremember a flatulence.” The categorical thing is for we to step back, remember all of a amatory things about him, try to know a pain that would means him to censor his sexuality, wish him well, and be happy you’re absolved of a large fake.
This minute is from a Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean during E.Jean@AskEJean.com.